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Ali & Frazier . . . Bird & Magi . . .Michigan & That School Down South . . . . Steve Wiebe & Billy Mitchell. All classic rivalries. What? You haven't heard of Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell. Well, you poor child. Billy and Steve are only the 2 greatest Donkey Kong players that ever lived. Not interested? Then please watch this informative 2 minute video and be wowed.
STILL not impressed? When then you obviously hate America, you pinko Commie bastard. A million different people could have gotten high and invented the iPod. Only a select handful can actually finish Donkey Kong and do so in such glorious point-scoring fashion. You've got to respect greatness, and these 2 men represent the modern day greatness of the American dream, pulling up their bootstraps and building their Kong skills up from nothing but a quarter and a sparkle in their eye.
I think King of Kong is available on Netflix streaming. It's how I watched it, but I don't have a streaming account anymore because like much of America, an extra $4 a month was just too much to bear when prices went up. Seriously though. Go watch it. You may not give a shit about video games, but by the end, I assure you that will have chosen a side and have rooting interest in this ongoing battle (the world record is currently held by someone else, as these 2 greats attempt to reclaim the throne). What is NOT surprising is that you'll most likely be rooting against the guy who speaks in the third person, wears a tie way too often, and looks like a villain from an 80's buddy cop movie.
So if you watch the epic documentary King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, you'll learn all about the still-living rivalry between Billy and Steve. you'll learn that there is an actual organization that acts as the keeper of video game world records (no, not Guinness). They're called Twin Galaxies, and every year they hold a get together for the world's most elite classic arcade game players. And if you haven't figured it out, it's held at Funspot in Laconia New Hampshire, the world's largest arcade. So being an average male, and thus a video game geek, I decided to pay respects to the gods of the sport and make a detour to Funspot one Sunday while coming back from camping in the White Mountains. And since your average girl also loves to pick up guys who know how to work a joystick, Angela come along for the ride.
When I walked into Funspot, I immediately went into overload mode. Hundreds upon hundreds of video games, the vast majority of the classic cost-a-quarter variety. It was like walking into a Vegas buffet. I want some prime rib . . . and some garlic mashed potatoes . . . and even though I don't like it, I'll take some lobster to get my money's worth.
My last trip to Las Vegas was about 2 years ago (about 18 months too long). We got drunk. I lost money. Buddy stayed up for about 30 hours straight. I marveled at the bidet in Mike's fancy-boy room at Ceaser's. Traditional Vegas. For brunch on Sunday, we decided to hit up the Luxor. The buffet was $30. Overpriced, but you're in Vegas, so who cares? But then we sat down and the waitress informed us that if we'd like, we could get unlimited mimosas for just $5 more . . . . so we made our money back.
The Hallowed Grounds of Funspot
At a mere quarter per play, my metaphorical stomach in this case was pretty limitless. But like Vegas, I only really wanted a taste or 2 of everything they had to offer. Play for 5 minutes, and even if it wasn't Game Over, move onto the the next one . . . and the next one . . . and the next one . . . until even a nerd like me couldn't stands no more. 20 or so classic games later (too many to even remember, besides Donkey Kong of course), we moved onto the skeeball & pinball portion of the day. And after spending $5.00 worth of tokens to earn a plastic Funspot cup, we called it a day.
However, if you have the time, you can truly make a day of Funspot. They've got 3 giant rooms of video games and ticket-type games (500+ in all), but they've also got bowling, mini golf, bingo, more mini golf, a bar and a ropes/zip-line course. Oh the wonder of it all! However, I suggest you go as a group, because while I was on my own playing games, I definitely felt like I had driven a window-less van full of candy to Funspot. Chris Hanson could make a year's of episodes at that place.
A good time was had, but most importantly, I got to play on the Donkey Kong machine that the legends like Steve and Billy play on. I touched their joystick! I pushed their buttons! And I spanked that monkey! (Donkey King is a monkey you sick bastard). Anyway, it wasn't exactly like getting batting practice at Fenway Park, but my name is neither Matt Damon nor Ben Affleck, so I have to work with what I got, which on that day, was a fistful of quarters.
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