Item #4 - Blind Date

So earlier this year, I created an online dating profile, which was a pretty big shock, mostly to me. 10 years ago, I laughed at the idea of online dating. 10 months ago, I said "well, everyone else who's single around here is doing it, its winter, and I have nothing better to do", so I signed up for it. And in reality, online dating makes more sense than trying to randomly meet people at the bar.

Online, you can go through hundreds of different profiles, while at the bar you get what you get in terms of numbers. Online, you can actually get a good sense of the person's personality based on their profile before you ever even say hello, while at the bar you pick someone you're attracted to and just pray for the best. However, in both cases, you're probably only 80% likely to be attracted to the person after the initial meeting, whether it be because the photos online don't quite match up to the live person standing 2 feet from you, or because the 4 beers you had when you met at the bar impaired your vision.

But like many things in my life (and hopefully not like this blog), i was excited for the online thing for about a week and now it just kind of sits there. I'm guessing I've gone the proactive route and initiated conversation only 2 or 3 times. I kind of just figured the ladies will come to me, like I usually do at the bar. This game plan . . . has not worked out so well.

(margin of error +/-1%)

But I have been on a few dates through the profile. One was fantastic. One was pretty good. And one . . . left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Now before I go on with the story, please note that I pretty much know where I stand with the female community. I'm no 10. I'm not going to be drawing a bunch of looks from random girls based on just my looks (see above). I'm usually lucky to get by on my oh so hilarious wit. But on my online profile I'm at least respectful enough to put only recent pictures on the site, receding hairline be damned. Face forward. Full body shots. It is what it is, even if it is a 7.5 on a good day. 

So the last time I met up with a girl, post-online conversation, I was the first to get there. It was a good 5-10 minutes of waiting, letting the anxiety build over time. And when she finally arrived, the immediate completely honest though that went throught my head was "I was attracted to your pictures online, however, I regret to inform you that I am not attracted to you in person." She wasn't unattractive per se, but I definitely thought there was some false advertisement in her profile.

Now if this sounds terrible, and if you want to give the "looks don't matter speech," then I also regret to inform you that you are a liar. The meshing of personalities is the overwhelming reason relationships either work or don't, but if you're just not attracted to the person, it just ain't going to work. I don't think that's some great revelation. And if you disagree, feel free to go on Dating in the Dark and prove me wrong.

Anyway, though I immediately knew that date wasn't going to work out, since I'm not a complete douche, I stuck it out the hour or so it lasted and called it a day. A depressing day being as that I was actually a little excited for the date based on the email conversations. At the very least, while the date was on a Sunday afternoon, the NFL season hadn't started yet, so I didn't miss any football. So the date had that going for it.

(side note - I really need to end the dating apathy I have. One bad date and it completely sticks in my head (though the apathy was there well before that). On the other hand, the girl friends I know that are online dating are going on 2-3 dates per week. And the last bad date story I heard was that they went apple picking, and the guy thought it was a good idea to do shots before leaving for the orchard. . . at 10am. he also decided that a roadie glass of wine was a good idea for the way back.  Lesson - like everything in life, there is always someone who has a worse story, so get over it!)

So having said all that, going into the blind date I was fairly terrified. As I said before, this was the first item on the list that made me regret making the list in the first place. Something I would have said "no" to 99 times out of 100.  And while I could have easily asked matchmaker HeyJin for a picture of the girl (since she has a name, I should probably use it. It's Laura), I didn't think that would be good enough for the spirit of going on a "blind" date. So despite my better judgment, I went in knowing 3 things - she's an allergist, she's a runner, and she's pretty.

And . . . it went pretty well . . . I think.

 

If you want full gossipy details of the date, you'll have to visit my dating blog at apatheticdater.fakeblog.com (and if you're really in the mood to snoop, I'll dash your hopes now and let you know that she's not on Facebook). But the 2 main reasons for this 52-new venture are to A, make me not bored after moving into a 1 bedroom apartment, and B, do things that might take me out of my element. And the blindness of the date was exactly that. I mean, considering it was a friend of a friend (which is actually how all 5 of my previous girlfriends came about. again, not so great at the random bar meetings), I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be murdered and have my body tossed into the Charles. 

Jerry: What'd she do?

Kramer: : I don't know! But I woke up in the Hudson River in a SACK!

But besides that, there was a very real chance the date could have blown up about 15 minutes into it, and I'd once again be left to count down the number of sips she had left in her beer before I could run away as fast as possible. But it didn't. In fact, it was a good 3 hours worth of drinks. No real bad awkward pauses. No internal monologue about not finding the other person attractive. No "soooooo . . . . what kind of music do you like" questions. 

(I am fairly snobby about music/TV/movies, and thus, those are important questions. But the blatant askingof those questions to kill an awkward pause on date #1 usually spells doom. When they happen organically, I'll probably go off for a good hour about them. And if you answer "yes" to both "do you like DMB" and "do you like Two and a Half Men", then it's guaranteed doom)

 

So yeah, I'd say it went pretty well. Most likely well enough to warrant a Round 2. And definitely well enough to not make me so terrified of doing it again. And though I I did find her attractive (hi Laura!), if I did get offered a blind date again, I'd at least have the sense to demand a picture, like a rational human being would.