Item #43 - Go to a Mets Game, and finish the 30 stadium tour (Part 2)

For Part 1 go HERE. If you haven't read it, this will be pretty random, and you need context dammit.

For Part 2, continue reading after the jump


Jacobs Field (Cleveland Indians, 2005)
I went here while bebopping and scatting around the midwest with my girlfriend at the time, Angela. We hit up Cleveland and stayed with my buddy Aaron (who I'd later finish the 30 stadium tour with in NYC). It was a nice time, but there's not much story to be told from an entertainmment standpoint (I can't even find a picture), so let's move back to the debauchery of stories from The Baseball Trip, because that's what you want anyway.

Pro Player Stadium (Florida Marlins, 2006)
The 2006 trip has been unanimously voted as the greatest trip we've had. Miami, then Tampa, then Atlanta.  It was a murderer's row of immature shenanigans. And arguably the most immature stunt of all occurred at Pro Player Stadium. Nobody goes to Marlins games. It's a fair weather sports town with a baseball team playing in a football stadium. So, with an empty stadium, someone was dared to to go up to the press box and . . . . well . . .ummm . . . I'll let the user's imagination take over. Just know that had a security guard come along, the aforementioned trip participant would have wanted to call their lawyer. And also know that you should never go into the press box at Pro Player Stadium.

 

Tropicana Field (Tampa Rays, 2006)

Though Tampa has arguably the worst actual building to play baseball in, we did happen to show up on just the right night in just the right section, as we were in the $1 beer section. Not quite as great as it sounds though, as it took about an inning and a half to get through the line and get your max 2 beers. What was as great as it sounds though was the man thong that someone on the trip purchased and wore down on the beach and at the pool. I'm pretty sure I overheard some homophobic slurs by some college kids at the pool because of the man thong, but we were in Florida, so I wouldn't expect anything less.

Turner Field (Atlanta, 2006)

Man did we hit the beer motherload on this trip. $1 beers in Tampa, and then Atlanta had beers for about $4 . . . and they served us for all 9 innings. That was such an excellent decision on their part. And because of that liquid courage, we were able to befriend a few southern belles while at the park. After the game, we all went back to our cars and drank some more. Many beers later, the girls were ready to drive home, or at least they said they were. However, even we idiots knew that was a stupid idea because A, they were certianly over the legal limit for BAC, and B, it was questionable as to whether or not they were even legal to drink a single beer in this over-21 nation of ours (we may or may have not purchased them beers at the park. Its fuzzy). Anyway, in a last ditch effort to be mature and get them to not drive home drunk, someone stole the headrests from their SUV, figuring they wouldn't leave without them . . . . but they did, and shortly after someone threw the aforementioned evidence headrests out of our rental car. Ahhh, the Dirty South.

Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros, 2007)

Airtrain Airlines blows. On the way to Houston, we had a layover in Atlanta. There was some rain, but nothing ridiculous. Howevver, after we landed, we got to spend an hour waiting on the tarmac until we had a gate. That hour cost us our only chance to get to Houston that night. We figured the whole area was screwed, but as we walked around the Atlanta ariport, from terminal to terminal, we realized that Airtran was the only airline to cancel flights, and by the look of it, they canceled every flight they had. So, rather than having the 5 of who made the trip spend for a hotel room (the 5 of us include 5 bachelor's degrees, 3 masters and 1 PhD), we decided to sleep in the airport. Of course, the sleeping only occured after we bought out all beer from the the 1 open sandwich shop, because to not do so would have been silly

The Ballpark in Arlington (Texas Rangers, 2007)

Time to introduce you to the Kramers. The Kramers were a family we met while at the hotel pool before the Rangers game. They consisted of a set of brothers, their wives, and their 4 combined kids. Every year, they make a roadtrip down from Oklahoma to see a Rangers game, and by god, are we glad they did. 

I could write an entire narrative post about our time with the Kramers, but to jam all the action into a small space, we'll bulletize it. 

• We met them because they asked to bum a few beers off us. We obliged, and in return, they told us about the shuttle from the hotel to the game (seen above), and how we should smuggle liquor onto it (the shuttle went about 1.5 miles)
• Yup, one brother is wearing a tank top, the other a T with ripped off sleeves.
• When we mentioned "rednecks" they said that people from WEST Texas were the rednecks, not people like them from Oklahoma (again, note the attire)
• During the game, someone got drunk enough to get kicked out. HOWEVER, one of the Kramers came to his rescue and sweet talked the securtity guard into putting said person into what amounted to a timeout or detention, as he then sat several rows from the rest of the group, under the guard's watchful eyes for the rest of the game. 
• After the game, someone on our trip wrestled the Kramer's 8 year old son until he basically cried. The dad scoled his son for being a wuss.
• After the game, one of their wives joined the Baseball Trippers in crushing Cheetos on a drunken near-passed-out member of the Baseball Trip
• After the game, someone joined the Kramers for a little glaucoma treatment
• And the Texas-style quote of the trip - Chris had been wearing a shirt with a giant picture of Cleveland Browns QB Brady Quinn. After seeing it, the Kramer's 8 year looked at Chris and said "Chris . . . you're a fag." Lesson - don't mess with Texas.

Petco Park (San Diego Padres, 2008)
San Diego was a long ass day of drinking. Poolside drinking at noon. At 4:00, the Red Wings and Pistons were both in the playoffs, so we drank at the bar and watched those games. And then we had the Padres game at 7:00, and thanks to Red House legend Dino (AKA, our old college roommate), who works at Petco Park, we got free beer all game. The result - someone got so drunk that they got kicked out of the park after eating food off of plates that were going to the suites. They then played the exciting mass transit game called "will you end up at your hotel or in Tijuana?" and . . . they won, choosing properly to head north.  That someone then ended up back at the hotel for the rest of the crew to find him, after he disappeared in inning 6.

 

Angel Stadium (Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of LA California, 2008)
Bobby . . . fucking . . . Seay. 2 things to note from this game. A - someone on the trip had bad enough gas that it literally forced the people around us to move seats. And B - we were lucky enough to catch an Angels game against the Detroit Tigers. It went 0-0 into the 12th until Bobby Fucking Seay walked home the winning run. Sigh.

Bank One Ballpark (Arizona Diamondbacks, 2008)
A nice culmination of our first west coast trip. After the game, we went to a bar owned by Thunder Dan Majerle. We sang karaoke. We met a couple girls. One was okay looking. One was . . . less than stellar. 2 Baseball Trippers decided to make out with them in a car after the bar shenanigans. Eventually the girls had to leave because, to quote one of them, she had to get home to her husband and kid (man, anyone we've met on the trip south of the Mason Dixon line has been a little questionable). As if that wasn't a great way to end the trip, somone else decided to puke up something funky and pass out next to it.
The next morning, the maid knocked at the door. We told her to go away. She knocked again. We again told her to go away again. Then she opened the door no more than 6 inches, at which point we heard her say "Oh my goodness!" and she slammed the door shut and left. Without even seeing the room or the puke, the stench had basically slapped her in face. But since we're mature adults, we tipped her and left a note.

Coors Field (Colorado Rockies, 2009)
As the dates get closer to the present, my memories become more vivid. 2 Denver stories. The first - the 6 of us on the trip wanted to play tennis. We scouted the satellite view on Google Maps, found a few courts, and walked a mile or so to them. When we arrived, we realized that not only were they locked up by a chain, but they were on the grounds of an elementary school . . . which had recess going on. So, the 6 of us, who looked like this at the game:

decided to hang around a school playground, waiting for recess to end so we could try to sneak onto the courts.  The bad news - we didn't get onto the courts. The good news - we were never confronted by Chris Hanson and Dateline.
Story B is anopther quick puke story. After the game, we went to some hipster bar next to our hotel. We sat outside, and someone quickly passed out in the sun. About an hour later, that person woke up, turned to his left, puked, and immediately went back to sleep. The person sitting to the puker's left ended up with a little puke on his shorts, but thanks to the fact that they only brought the one pair of pants, they got to wear the puke shorts the rest of the trip.

Safeco Field (Seattle Mariners, 2009)
Two words: dogs and 40's. After the game, we hung out with our buddy Dave, who lives in Seattle and was another old college roomamate. Dave took us to a bar that both served 40's and allowed dogs. Greatest bar combo ever. On this there is no debate. But since I have no pictures from it, here's a picture of 2 of our guys in a human perioud on the street after the game, just because. (I would post a video I have of someone drunkly dancing up and down the street behind the stadium after the game, weaving in and out of people, but I don't know how to censor a moving target in a video).

Dodger Stadium (LA Dodgers, 2010)
With Kaufman Satdium in KC, the other most underrated stadium in baseball. Beautiful architecture. Fairly well kept up for an older stadium. AWESOME garlic fries (possibly the best ballpark food in the land). Beautiful view of of the mountains in the background . . . but that's not what you want to see. You want to see more pictures of absurd sleeping conditions! So how about someone passing out in the closet and then having garage dumped all over them. The same person was able to sleep through all of it and not notice until the morning.

Oakland Colesium and AT&T Park (Oakland A's and San Francisco Giants, 2010)
Occasionaly the Baseball Trip does slow down to enjoy the finer things in life, and after doing Dodger Stadiumn, we took the scenic route, as the 7 of us on that trip took the 8 hour drive up Pacific Coast Highway. I had never been. It was gorgeous. Not gorgeous? This issue of Plumpers someone bought for the drive up:

Note the girly hands. That's a friend of ours who joined us for a couple games. And note that the Baseball Trip seems to rub off on those surrounding us, as it's our friend who's enjoying that particular issue, not any of the boys. The shenanigans also rubbed off on 2 of our other SF friends, as they decided to play a little game called "bite the other person's nipples in the middle of the bowling alley". I'm not sure there were any winners.

Oh, as for the stadiums, the main sticking point was the weather. The day game at Oakland was nice and toasty. Shirtless in the outfield toasty. The next day, the night game at AT&T Park required about 4 layers to stay warm. San Fran has some f'd up weather. 

Target Field (Minnesota Twins, 2011)
For some details on this trip, check out our video game tournament versus the Minnesota kids, or our brief stint on the Jumbotron. Both good stories. But for here, how about something a little unexpected. With all the "trashing" of the rooms that we do, I don't think we've ever actually "destroyed" or "broken" something (unless you count a puked-on floor). It's really just garbage thrown about, and we've actually taken to cleaning most of it up in recent years. But on this trip, someone decided to display a feat of strength and prove that the metal latch lock was not as tough as advertised.

Citi Field  (NY Mets, 2011)
And then we finally come to the end of the road. Eventuallty I would have gotten to a Mets game. The Baseball Trip will get back to NYC someday (remember, we did the Yankees), but with the year of the list, I wasn't willing to wait. So I took some intitiative, took a bus down to NYC, met up with my buddy Aaron, knocked off the last franchise on my list, and indulged in a cheesy photo marking the 30 franchise occasion.

So 30 teams, 30+ parks. 11+ years of travel. I know theres other people that have done it, but I don't know any personally. And I know theres people that have done 30 in a single year, but those people are rich douchebags and I need to work a job so they can go to hell. Just like the 52 New list, its not something entirely unique, and not something that going to revolutionize our society. But, it's something that I think is damn cool.

What's also pretty cool? I did it with mostly with the Baseball Trip guys, and after 11 years of the actions listed above, somehow we've all remained alive and out of prison. So yeah, that's definitely cool.